Interviews with Friends - Matt Jancer

Below is a transcript of the audio above. Small edits have been made for readability and accessibility.

Jesse: Would you like to introduce yourself?

Matt: Yeah. I'm Matt Jancer. I'm sitting in my lovely home of New York, New York, and dealing with a quiet afternoon because I only hear dogs barking and cars roaring by.

Jesse: How would you describe what you do slash what you like doing?

Matt: I'm a writer who likes writing. I trade words for money that keep me alive for my grand master plan of, I'm gonna write until I die and then die.

Jesse: Beautiful.

Jesse: I'm gonna steal something from a wonderful podcast back home. Do you have, like, a life philosophy or any sort of, like, guiding, you know, anything that you'd sort of sum up your view of the universe?

Matt: Regrets? God. [Music from a car] Now I have a soundtrack. Yeah… That's why I pointed out, like, tongue in cheek, quiet afternoon because there's only, like, normal noise. Mhmm. Now there's, like (Jesse: Less honking). This fucking thing going on.

What? It's coming out of a minivan too.

Whoever's listening to this can't hear this, but it's really not matching the vibe.

It's this red terrible, what, Dodge Caravan, splattered with paint. Yeah.

Jesse: Yeah. It's kinda banged up.

Matt: I guess that makes it a little bit better. It's banged up. Anyway, life philosophy. Regret's kind of terrifying and regrets always worried me, and I guess I've lived with plenty of regrets. I mean, everybody does to be kind of scary and weird if anybody had no regrets.

So when I'm deciding whether I wanna do something or not do something, I'll try to imagine myself years in the future, how am I gonna feel about it?

If I'm on- if I'm on the fence, I'm gonna ask myself, am I gonna really, you know, picture myself?

Am I gonna regret doing this or regret not doing this 20 years from now, 10 months from now, whatever?

And, that's been a good guiding light for me deciding, you know, what path I should take when I come to a fork in the road or a 3 pass or 4 pass in the road.

Jesse: Amazing. Let me pull this up. This, for reference is a questionnaire.

It's like a French talk show host would ask of his guests at the end of, at the end of their interview.

But, the reason I mention it is all of them are very first thought, best thought. Like, they don't worry too much about having the right answer because, like, whatever you're whatever you're feeling at the moment is the right answer.

So case in point, what's your favorite word at the moment?

Matt: Oh, god. I haven't been thinking of any words. I've only been thinking in terms of feelings and colour. Shit. Nothing. I don't know. Blank. Yeah. Blank space. I, god. Favourite word? Word at the moment…

Like, right at this moment or even lately?

Jesse: Yeah. Lately. Anything that's kinda been bouncing around that you use a lot? I've noticed you've, used the term bush league a few times in the last couple days, which I'm really enjoying.

Matt: That could be. Yeah. I'm pretty mad about work. I mean, I always am, but it varies from time to time. There are lots of things you're mad about and I don't like multitasking because I can't focus my annoyance completely, you know, it's like paying attention to someone when you're talking.

I'm not gonna pull up my phone or or start, like, writing something. I wanna be engaged in that at the moment.

It's the same thing with my annoyance at work. I need to focus on which part of this horrible job I'm being pissed off at the moment.

And, lately, it's just been a lot of Bush league decisions. Let's go with Bush league.

Jesse: For myself and also the other uninitiated, like, what does Bush League mean? (Matt: It's amateurish.) Yeah. Beautiful.

What is your least favourite word at the moment or, like, something you hate hearing?

Matt: Oh, god. It's see… Yeah. So I honestly, I swear to God, I'm actually an optimist.

But, the fact that I struggle to come up with my favourite word at the moment, and that right now, I've got, like, this, like, 3 pound bowl of like misery word jelly beans in my head. All these different words that are my least favourite at the moment.

God, I could just pick and choose from here.

I don't like corporate speak as a whole - I don't like the creep of corporate speak as a whole that seeped into English, or is particularly American English.

I maybe I'm not paying as much attention when I talk to English colleagues and that sort of thing, but it's like corporate speak has seeped into everything. And it's just it sounds very insincere and kind of the same thing with therapy speak.

Like, it's all maybe therapy speak a little bit more valid than corporate speak, which is just terrible and has very little purpose.

But it makes everyday conversations sound insincere and artificial and more like you're speaking to not get in trouble (Jesse: Yes).

Than you are to really communicate your thoughts or your feelings or emotions. So any of them.

I was talking with Ruh last night at his party about the misuse of gaslighting. And I wouldn't say dislike the word gaslight.

It's a very specific - it's like a scalpel; it has a very particular meaning. Yes.

I hate how it's misused. I don't the word.

Jesse: Because it it's not every.... it's like a single case of dishonesty is not gaslighting. Gaslighting is more like (Matt: Yeah. God. Yeah).

Over time, making you doubt your own, like, ability-

Matt: deliberate, premeditated manipulation. It comes from that movie, Gaslight.

And, it it's like it's - it's like a whole plan that somebody puts in place to kind of get you doubting your own judgment. But you love people, where it's like, "Where'd you leave the car keys, honey?" And, "Oh, I left them in that dish by the front." And they're like, "No. No!"

"I put them in the desk drawer."

It was like, "You're gaslighting me!" It's not gaslighting.

If you overuse a word if you over-misuse a word, then it loses its real meaning.

And, you know, some things like - there's only one word for actual gaslighting. It's gaslighting.

If we lose that meaning or we water it down, then how do we describe that? Yeah.

So that's really got under my skin for a bit.

Jesse: Yeah. I get that. It's like, I forget which dictionary did it… Like, I hate that memory and Twitter - one is being eroded by the other.

Matt: Same.

Jesse: I remember a few years ago, there was, like, a slight redraft to, like, the dictionary term for literally, which added in, like, that you could use it figuratively.

And I was like, undermining the importance of the word because you use it to say like this like, it's literal. It happened.

And then, when it got watered down, they said, well, now you can use it figuratively.

It's like, well, that's not what it's for - you can just use a different word.

Just because it sounds nice to say doesn't mean it fits.

Matt: 1000%. I would try to keep my bachelor's English teacher’s son opinions to myself about things, but like that. But, yeah, it drives me crazy too.

Jesse: And I think when you're a writer, it hits, closer to home because you the whole craft is like, what is it? Relatability and ease of reading and things like that.

And so if there's a word that clearly means one thing and then the meaning of it erodes, it kind of hampers the craft as well? Sorry to ramble.

Matt: It's funny that part of the appeal, at least to me and I think to a lot of people as well about writing, is that it gives this illusion that it's got some permanence to it. You can write something.

You know, I'm I just finished a book that was written, like, 1400 years ago. You can have that. It's still in print.

You can still get it. It sticks around a little longer than maybe music or a building, of course, or or something. But, actually, like, word and language changes so often that that permanence, the older I've gotten, the more I've, you know, been a writer and just lived to realize that these things shift so much that it's actually a very imperfect medium, impermanent medium.

Jesse: Yeah. Yeah. Of course. But even, I don't know. That was my first experience reading Shakespeare.

It was like, holy shit.

The amount of, like, active attention I had to pay to not like translating, but, like, you have to read meaning and things that don't quite make sense to your tiny little 12 year old brain.

Matt: Yeah. Calling that English, any kind of middle English, early English, all that - different language. That's bullshit.

Don't even pretend it's the same language. Yeah.

Jesse: What switches you on creatively?

Matt: So we talk about a lot.

We talked about this a lot in writing group where a lot of people will say and, whatever works for them works for them. But they'll sit down.

They'll just try and get something out, kind of just type, type, type, try to get, like, even some percentage of it.

And for them, it's just really, like, sitting down and doing the work.

And for me, what's worked for me I mean, having shout increasingly how's it’s that-

Jesse: Let's let's hold this for, like, 10 seconds.

I feel like this is about to get way louder (sirens get louder).

I'm interested to see how this picks up (sirens get much louder).

Matt: Alright. Yes. So what switches me on creatively, is I'm sort of maybe not the opposite, but I'll - I'll think about stuff, I'll pace around, I'll think about it, think about it, think about it in my head, and then I'll wait until it's bursting.

And I'll sit down, I'll get a burst of writing out.

So, I'll let things, I'll, I'll maybe even overthink them in my head.

And when it's like I can't hold them in any longer, that's when it ends up on the page. Or the screen.

Jesse: Nice. What about spiritually? Is there anything that makes you feel - in, like, any sense of the word - is there anything that makes you feel spiritual or connected to everything?

Matt: Whiskey. I yeah. It's I've got.... (truck sounds increase)

Yeah. We're good. So many garbage trucks, and yet they do jack shit. (Jesse : Yeah.)

(Jesse: A lot a lot of garbage around.) Spiritually.

You know, I've got lots of friends who have you know, they might say they're spiritual and nothing particularly dogmatic.

Several who were, like, active Christians and Hindu and and all that.

It's all it's beautiful.

It's, nothing, like, really against it. It's more of just something didn't click. It's not so much like I reject the whole idea of it.

It just didn't click for me.

Jesse: Yeah. That's fair.

Matt: If it changes in 5 months or 5 years, then sure. You know? But, yeah. It's just like a lack of just failure to launch.

Jesse: No. That's fair. What about emotionally? What, what makes you feel emotionally connected to other people?

Matt: Vulnerability.. Talking about, I was gonna say the bad shit. That's too glib. Talking about challenges, whether it's emotional, professional, or whatever because, you know,

we're so locked away in our own little worlds, our own little rooms, and our homes, and even our jobs are very insular, you know, compared to how I think the natural order is for human beings to live and, it's easy to sort of lose that connection, especially as you get older.

You know, your school you go I was about this the other day in school. You have a bad fight with your friend. You're forced to see him the next day, the next day, the next day.

So you're not walking on eggshells so much about, like, oh, am I gonna am I gonna be a little bit too honest with them, or am I gonna be a little bit too raw with them?

Because you're kind of forced into that intimacy.

You lose that once you graduate out of college or grad school or whatever.

And, and I think that leads to a reluctance to get close and be vulnerable and overshare or to share because, you know, you're always, like, one snip away from losing that connection in adulthood.

Jesse: Especially if you disagree about stuff. Like, this is, going back to what you're saying before of the with the, therapy speaking and stuff like that is sometimes it is easier just to, like, have a sanitised version of what you're trying to say because or - like, especially if you disagree with someone.

So, like, it's almost easy to take the diplomatic route knowing that you know, because you're all adults.

If you say something, the other person doesn't agree and it really, like, hits close, you can just never see that person again.

You can just... whereas, like, being vulnerable also comes with the whole thing of, like, maybe you won't be received by the other person.

And it's kind of it's nice to get there, but it's sometimes more active, I feel. (Truck sounds increase) Classic. Yeah. Even before when I was, like, talking about work stuff, I had this moment of like, oh my god.

Should I be talking so much shit about work? What if, like, what if someone hears?

And then I was like, man, I'm literally on the other side of planet, and also this guy probably needs to hear that he's fucked anyway.

So maybe I'll make that a priority when I get back.

Matt: But you talk about it, and one Australian walks by and stops, does a double look, and is just like, "oh!" I won't even try to do the accent. No. They're like, "Yeah. I know that guy." Pull out the phone, call him up in the middle of the night over there.

Jesse: “Oi, Azza. You won’t fucking believe this.”

Matt: I love Aussie slang. There's so many it's like the whole language is all slang. There's only, like, 20% the same words.

Jesse: And the beauty is if you make your own slang or anything weird, people will either get it or they'll respect it enough that they'll adopt it - of, like, I don't know, the whole thing about, like - another rubbish truck. (Matt: Yeah. I wasn't lying.)

But, like, someone's name just, like, putting an a or an o at the end, like robo dazza kinda thing.

Just I had this whole conversation with Nicole about, like, how weird Australian nicknames get.

Like, the friend who got married in France, his name's Jesse Wilkinson, so called him Wilko. But his dad gets called Wilko because he's, you know, he's a tradie, and so we called him Wango. And then we called him, like, Wango Mango. And now I forget.

It's like bastardized several ways past there. But now in my phone, his nickname is hot man 141 because he told me that he used to go on, like, chat websites when he was, like, 12. And he's like, “What's an adult name on this chat list?”

“So I'll be hot man 141.” Beautiful. But, sorry.

Back to this, because I'm rambling.

What switches you off creatively?

Matt: Sorry. That's another garbage truck! This this is actually happening. This is for real.

What switches me off creatively, I place a lot of pressure on myself to just be productive and be creative. And it's sort of like a magic trick.

You look too hard and it's just not gonna happen.

So I have to sort of talk myself down a little bit.

It's funny I described the way and I got into this a bit before, but I described the way that

I work when I'm working on something, generally writing.

I'd say anything creative, but that's just writing for me in any form, whether it's for myself, my own projects, you know, fiction at home, or if it's, like, nonfiction for work. It's that alright.

My writing style is like one of those little, like, nervous rescue dogs that you bring home for the first time, and you bring it home, and it's all, like, kinda freaked out and wiggling around, and then you're trying to get it to focus, but it can't.

And it might, like, kinda run over to your hand and then run away and then run over to your hand and run away, and then it, like, runs over all excited and it licks it and then it runs away again.

And that's me and the computer, and I'm like, I'll pace around.

I'm like, I'm gonna sit down and do it. No, I won't. And I'll pace around.

I'm like, now I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna actually sit down.

I'm like, no, I won't.

And I'll and I'll wait and then something bursts and it's just like a waterfall.

I'm like, okay, and I'll bang out like a 1000 words and I'll jump up away from it, like the computer just got 500 degrees (Jesse: Yeah).

And then it just repeats. So it's amusingly frantic. I'm glad that I work from home because if I worked in an office, people would probably think I'm, like, 2 steps away from climbing a bell tower.

Jesse: What shuts you down spiritually, if anything? What makes you feel less connected to-

Matt: To humanity? In general, or to the spiritual world? (Jesse: Anything.)

Jesse: I always take the whatever interpretation you have approach.

Matt: I'll take humanity because otherwise it's just all the time for me. With people, with humanity, witnessing people be, like, purposefully rude or thoughtless.

Like, I have, like, somebody accidentally like - if somebody does something by accident, it's hard for me to get in trouble with them.

That’s just the I grew up always, like, make a mistake, an accident, well, there's gonna be hell to pay. And, like, what do you do? Like, sometimes you're just gonna spill something or dent something. Yeah.

So it's hard for me, you know, as I got older and, I mean, I could put that into real actual language in my head. Like, this is what happens when when somebody makes you feel this way, you do this.

So it's hard for me to get upset when somebody does something back and they bump into you.

Even if they're just, like, dicking around in the subway stairs and whatever.

If they're fine about it, like, fine, like, it's life.

But when somebody chooses to be kind of petty or obnoxious, they go out of their way. It's needless.

It's that… sort of is - that's what gets under my skin. Yeah.

I can kind of, like, too many of that piles up, and it makes me feel just a little bit, like, you know, fuck off. Temporarily, humanity just temporarily, Even just for a little while.

Jesse: No. I back that. What about emotionally? What switches you off?

Matt: Emotionally? These days? I don't know.

I feel like I'm a kind of a big old baby now, at least internally, in a good way. Yeah. Sort of yeah. Shattered a little bit many years ago, kind of rebuilt back, and it's like gluing back to a vase and everything. And I forget that it's gonna sound really pretentious.

There's something like a kintsugi? Kind of thing. That Japanese, like, yeah. It's like gluing it back together and it's like even more beautiful because it's like a design now. But you can still see the cracks. That.

It feels like that.

So I don't regret that. I'm actually thankful for that. But, hell, what makes me shut down emotionally? Like, outwardly to people?

I think I have a-

I have a decent enough poker face when it comes to emotions. It's not a good thing. It's not something I've done on purpose.

It's just the growing up in the house I did. So I think that I can have very, like… I won't show it. I have to kind of make the, conscious decision to share and be vulnerable and open up because just - it's just like gut instinct as a kid.

You know, I've been doing this for as long as I could, like, walk and talk is just to kinda keep it inside.

Jesse: Yeah.

Matt: And, you know, boom, poker face. Funny enough, I'm terrible. I have a actual terrible poker face when I'm playing poker.

Jesse: Amazing.

Matt: It only comes in - it's like the worst of both worlds. Yeah.

Jesse: Oh my god. What's your favourite curse word?

Matt: Oh. Oh, there's so many curse words. Fucking hell is, it's 2 words.

I don't know if that counts. But just… it can - it's just such a perfect epithet.

Jesse: Yeah. I back it. And, like, it's becoming I mean, I don't know what workplaces are like here, but, like, becoming much more acceptable in places. I remember growing up and, like, you know, when you're kid obviously told not to curse so much. But, like, if you heard someone screaming, “oh, fucking hell!”, you'd be like, oh my god. This is so intense. Or sometimes Yeah. I'm in the office now, and I'm like, what the fuck is going on here? And it's fine.

Or maybe… or maybe it's not fine.

Matt: Same way here. And, like, growing up in the south, like, I grew up in North Carolina.

I was born up here in Long Island and then grew up in North Carolina.

And down there, it's even a little bit more and still, like, it's becoming it's also opening up not quite as fast. It's got farther to go.

But a couple of years, I went to a Carolina Panthers football game, and I'm there with my brother-in-law, my dad. We're walking to our seats, and, I forget what - something.

I forgot exactly what happened, but I just kinda remarked, it wasn't even angry, it was just like an off-hand comment to my brother-in-law.

It was something like, “Oh, yeah, it's all like fucked up.”

All these people, all these adults who are at a football game, let me remind you, and are gonna go cheer for, like, 300 pound men to slam into each other.

A whole, like, crowd around me.

They all in unison, they go [GASP]

And I'm like, oh, yeah. Right.

Like, I've been up in New York a little too long, and people are still it's like 40 something year old men are like gasping.

They all gasp with the same amount of time, like, sucking birds out of the sky. I think a jet almost crashed. Oh my god. Yeah. It was just-

Jesse: The earth spins off its axis a little bit.

Matt: It was incredible. It changed the ball flying through the air.

Jesse: Yeah. You've technically rigged a football game.

Matt: The real butterfly effect. And I'd yeah. So I'd it is becoming a little bit or a lot more usual. I remember growing up, even you couldn't say "shit" on TV.

Jesse: Yeah. Yeah. Now I sometimes watch TV shows and, like, oh my god. There's a great Australian TV show called Deadloch, and it's like a it's a like a murder mystery show, but it's kind of like a satire of, like, those Nordic Noir ones of, like, you know, like,

“I'm a detective in a small town where nothing's as it seems.”

But it's like the serious parts are played really well, but it's also just clearly tongue in cheek for much of it. But, like, they drop "cunt" so often to that, and it's amazing.

But I just remember having this moment of, like, when I grew up, this would be illegal. Like, people would, they'd be in the newspapers like, "this pottymouth show!", whereas, like, every episode, yeah, someone's just dropping a c bomb about something. Oh, it's fucking cunt to this. And then it's-

Matt: It's still very Australian, though. Like, a little bit English to a lesser extent. Here, it's people will still maybe gasp here. I think more because of, like, the gendered-

Jesse: Yes. Of course.

Matt: Thing of it than the outright, like, crudity of it.

Jesse: Yeah. Of course. What is a sound or noise that you love hearing?

Matt: Favourite sound. God. Probably just an internal combustion engine going. It's funny talking about, you know, doing this electric car guide, which is, under wraps right now. But, yeah, with all the work I've done on electric car reviewing and everything, it's so funny that a good old, like, a V8 engine or even just a, like, a V twin motorcycle engine. It's just wonderful.

Like, electric cars, trucks, everything, that's the future. Like, we've gotta have it. It's not fun living on a burnt out, husk of a planet, but, like, we're gonna lose something because it's just that silent whoosh. That doesn't sound good.

Jesse: Yeah. Whereas the actually, it's almost tactile, kind of thing. Like, I told you, ages ago about when my dad did up a Corvette, but I remember, like, the engine was so fucking huge on it.

And so when it would come on, it would just, like, rumble, and the whole car would shake.

Matt: You feel it in your rib cage. And then then coupled with the smells too, yeah, the smell of gasoline. I don't I guess I can kind of intellectually understand. People would say this smells terrible. Like, it's like, they're burning. Like, it's still like cancer fuel, but it smells so good.

Best smell on earth, followed by coffee and then crayons. Thought about a lot that a lot actually.

Jesse: Crayons?

Matt: No. I know it does not smell good. I get a lot of pushback from that. It is, it's not terrible, but-

Jesse: it's got a nostalgic element to it of, like-

Matt: There's a lot of nostalgia that nostalgic smells. Speaking of which, another garbage truck?

Jesse: Yeah. I feel like even the the engine one kind of comes into that as well. Like, I don't know. Like, I grew up around cars a lot with my dad. So whenever I hear one, it's very, like it's almost like home kind of thing.

Matt: Oh, yeah. As a kid, I would, like, watch all of these, like, car auctions, classic car auctions. It's all, like, 40, 50, 60 year old guys buying stuff that reminded them of being a kid.

I'll just be like, oh, I'm never gonna do that. I'm just gonna buy whatever's cool. Now that I'm actually able to do this kind of thing, buy this stuff.

Jesse: Yeah. Is that car alarm traveling towards us or?

Matt: it's getting louder.

Jesse: Oh, there you go. I thought it was like someone was driving it. No. That's probably-

Matt: It's just moving. It's like Flintstones moving. They can't get it started, so they're just walking it along. Yep. But, yeah. That's what I've ended up kind of doing now. I'm looking at stuff from my childhood and so, you know, I'm eating my words now that I'm actually more up toward that age.

Jesse: No. I I think there's, like, a niceness in it. It's like, I wonder how that'll shift as well. Like, I wonder if this will just be, like, the cultural shift of as EVs become, like, more and more the norm in, like, I dunno 60 years. Someone would be like, “Oh my god. Look at this classic fucking, I don't know, Nissan LEAF and look at that.”

I suppose maybe, I wonder if this is the thing that comes on every generation. My first thought was, like, maybe current cars don't have that kind of nostalgia building. But then I suppose everything was at one point the present thing, and it's like, oh, man. These fucking V8 engines are just gonna be a flash in the pan kinda thing. So who knows? Sorry. I'm rambling.

Matt: No. I'll ramble on. That's I always found, I've interviewed a bajillion people for work over the last 14 years, and and all, the best ones I can just let, like, a long chain out.

And then at some point, people will be like, oh, I'm rambling. I'm sorry.

Jesse: Great quotes.

Matt: And I'm just and I'm and I'll say, no. No. No. Believe me. If you were rambling and it was not good, I would cut you off. Like, trust me. I would say something. if you're rambling and I'm sitting here and I'm not interrupting, then, like, good. I'm getting good stuff. So-

Jesse: what is the sound or a noise you hate hearing?

Matt: Gum smacking, gum chewing. It's I yeah. I don't know. It's not like I don't have,

Jesse: Misophonia?

Matt: Yeah. It's not that intense, but it's not a great sound. (Jesse No). Just sounds like 2 ham slices. It's not like somebody dribbling a ham out the side of a bus while it goes down the street.

Jesse: Does that also apply to, like, if someone's blowing gum bubbles, or is it mostly the chewing?

Matt: The bubbles are fine. I think a nice pop is of much more, audibly acceptable than just, like, mush. Mouth mush.

Jesse: Yep. What is a profession other than your own that you'd like to attempt?

Matt: Like a real one or some bullshit?

Jesse: Anything. If you could if you could be doing anything, but just not what you're doing now.

Matt: That's kinda tough because I - this is, writing is the only thing I ever really wanted to do. And then I'd I'd do it. And that's all I've ever done. So that's probably it.

Jesse: No answer is an answer?

Matt: There's, I've done, like, the mountain climbing. I'll do, like, alpine style mountain climbing a lot, and I've gone with some guides before and they seem like they really enjoy it. It's a hard life where they're constantly flying and away from people.

Nobody's in a, like, a steady relationship and, god, they probably earn, like, $30 grand if they're lucky. It's seasonal and it's hard.

And a lot of them tend to burn out 5 or 7 years in. So a lot of them will do it through twenties. (Jesse: Oh, wow.) Up through maybe their maybe after their thirties. I love doing that stuff on the side. I kind of end up when I go with other people as being the person who guides them, like, obviously not as a profession, but (Jesse: being familiar?) as a profession.

Like, yeah, I would do that. I could do that. Or I'd like to think I could do that.

I've got the navigation skills and the medical skills and all that stuff.

Jesse: Oh, yeah.

Matt: Even if I only lasted 5 years in it, it would something maybe I wish I had done back in the day.

Jesse: What is a what's a profession that you would never like to do?

Matt: Most of them. Nearly all of them. Teaching. I have so much respect for teachers. I my mother was a teacher for 30 years.

I've a number of the women I've dated have been teachers, my ex was a teacher, and it's like, a utterly thankless job.

The stories that even make it out are, like, 1% of the ones that are not even just happened, but commonplace.

And it's they're squeezed from all sides. They're not paid enough. They're not respected enough.

They're, dumped on by the administration who doesn't tend to look out for them, dumped on by (Jesse: parents?) politicians who, you know, use them as a scapegoat for so many things, especially these days more and more by parents.

They're just squeezed from all sides.

Jesse: Yeah. And, like, such an important job as well of, like, a good teacher can shape you in such a good way and the absence of, the same thing.

Matt: So important. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody agrees it's important, but then they'll nobody really treats it like they're important.

I would get fired. I wouldn't have the I wouldn't have the patience to really, like, handle somebody's ego, like, a parents' ego with kid gloves.

I would just I could be a lot more blunt or it have to be a lot more blunt. Yeah. And then I just end up unemployed by the end of the 1st month.

Jesse: Well, that's fair. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Matt: “Surprised you took this long.”

Jesse: “You got there!” What's been one of the best parts of the year for you?

Matt: Oh, it's a good thing we did this last week of the year. If we do this next week.

What the hell I would've said.

Well, I think it’ll sound really cheesy to the point that it sounds like I am, putting on performance. It's people, friends. It's always friends. It's always people. It's my group of folk.

It it's even just even just hanging out in the broadest sense. Like, it's not even the biggest thing. It's not even like, oh, we did this or went here or whatever, which is the idea that I can have, like, a shit day and get on and be like, hey. Like, I really need to unwind. And people will appear, so… 

[END]